Definition: Disqualifying the Positive involves discounting or rejecting positive feedback and achievements. You might attribute successes to luck, timing, or external factors rather than acknowledging your own skills or efforts.

How It Works: Even when positive events occur, this distortion leads you to focus on what’s lacking or to minimize the value of compliments. The result is a skewed self-perception where your strengths and successes are overlooked.

Why It Matters: By dismissing the positive, you reinforce negative self-beliefs and create a cycle of low self-worth that can contribute to depression, anxiety, and a reluctance to pursue new opportunities.

• Downplaying Achievements: Attributing successes to external factors such as luck or help from others rather than your own ability.
• Rejecting Compliments: Brushing off praise with thoughts like "they’re just saying that" or "it was nothing special."
• Focusing on Flaws: Emphasizing minor mistakes and using them to overshadow significant accomplishments.
• Persistent Self-Criticism: Maintaining a narrative of inadequacy despite evidence of success.

The tendency to disqualify the positive can lead to:

• Chronic low self-esteem and feelings of unworthiness
• Increased vulnerability to depression and anxiety
• Reduced motivation and reluctance to pursue new challenges
• A skewed self-image that overlooks personal strengths

DBT provides practical strategies to counteract disqualifying the positive:

• Mindfulness: Cultivate awareness of both positive and negative experiences. Notice when you’re dismissing a compliment or success and pause to truly acknowledge it.
• Self-Validation: Regularly affirm your strengths. Recognize that your achievements are a testament to your abilities, regardless of external factors.
• Reality Testing: When you receive praise, ask yourself for specific examples that support the compliment. This helps anchor positive feedback in reality.
• Opposite Action: Engage in behaviors that celebrate your successes—such as keeping a compliment journal or sharing achievements with a trusted friend.
• Wise Mind Integration: Balance emotional reactions with rational thought. Use your Wise Mind to consider both your strengths and areas for growth.

Try these exercises to help counteract disqualifying the positive:

1. Compliment Journal: Record every compliment or positive remark you receive. Reflect on these entries regularly.
2. Balanced Feedback Log: For each negative thought, write down at least two positive aspects or compliments from the situation.
3. Positive Affirmations: Develop a list of affirmations that highlight your achievements and review them daily.

Disqualifying the positive can prevent you from fully recognizing your strengths and accomplishments. By integrating DBT techniques such as mindfulness, self-validation, and reality testing, you can learn to accept and build upon your successes. Over time, these strategies foster a more balanced and confident self-image.